2009 as seen from the rear view mirror

Since I have nothing better to do and need to procrastinate here is my year in review in a movie award/list mash up.

Best Actor – Barack Obama
And the winner is President Obama for scoring himself a nice shiny Nobel Prize for doing absolutely squat.

Best Actress – Helen “Godzilla” Zilla

Best Supporting Actor – Julius Milema
For his role as Zuma’s official “Number 2.”

Best Supporting Actress – Amor Vittone.

Best Film* - Watchmen

Best Director – Gavin Hood
There are so many reasons but here are a few that make up for Wolverine:
1. He is South African – and not in the manner of Charlize Theron or Dave Matthews
2. His ensemble cast of Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds, Liev Schreiber and Taylor Kitsch designed reduce any red-blooded female to a state of libidinousness**.
3. Bringing us Hugh Jackman in the flesh – only to have it removed from the final cut. 60% of the world’s population now cries itself to sleep.

Best Newcomer – Mark Strong
I know he has been around since at least 2008 but still.

Best New Show – V & Cougar Town
V is only 4 episodes in and not the mot original story line but I have hope for the future.
Cougar Town – Courtney Cox Arquette is fantastic and it is from the man behind Spin City and Scrubs.

Best Ensemble Cast – Lonely Island

Lifetime Achievement Award - Top Gear

Best Special Effects – Shared between The Joost Video and Madonna’s make-up artist.

Best fight – Godzilla vs. Julius Creaser
Once again Julius brought out his best English skills claiming that Helen Ziller “sleeps around”.

Best kiss – A certain Miss J and the lamp posts of Mie-ken and, of course, my walrus.

Best song – Relator - Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johannson.

Best theme song - for 2009 “I gotta Feeling” – Black Eyed Peas
I know I am gonna fry for this one but unless you spent your New Year in Tokyo you won’t understand.
You just weren’t there man. You just weren’t there.

Proudly South African Award - Sharlto Copley and District 9

Boerewors Award for Afrikaans excellence (awarded bi-centennially) – Jack Parow Cooler as Ekke

Old Yoghurt Award for being past its expiry date but still edible – House M.D
I can’t believe I am saying this but sadly it is true. It’s just that there are only so many times it can’t be lupus.

Biodiversity Award for having been in the fridge too long - Lost & Scrubs

The Bill Clinton “It wasn’t me” Award – Joost van der Westhuizen
Runner up Tiger Woods

Most Disastrous Movie Award & the Biggest Disappointment of 2009 – 2012
The award for biggest disappointment just beat out the failure to find intelligent life in the Universe, the discovery of a diet that actually works and the total annihilation of all hope of an Arrested Development movie.

Handful of Pills Award – Twilight, Twihards, Twitards. Twilightismylife.com and Zach Efron.


*This could not go to Avatar as I am working to my own schedule and not release dates. But honestly while the special effects were good it didn’t not quite rock me mentally in the manner that Watchman did.

**Incidentally my word of 2010